Lightness and Darkness

At my previous job, balancing light and dark was a daily task. As an oncology nurse we dealt with patients at all stages of treatment. We cared for newly diagnosed patients who were full of hope and apprehension. We also cared for people at the end of life. More than caring for the actual patient, you took care of their family and tried to make their experience as comfortable as possible. I remember swallowing back tears and walking into a room of a patient that I had known and who had passed and calmly asking if I could do anything for the family. This same day I cared for other patients who were nowhere near that point and I smiled for them and maybe joked a little. I will also point out that on that same day that I completely fell apart in our manager’s office, so that happens too.

Currently I’m on what I’m calling a “hiatus” and am not in the daily grind of an acute care cancer floor. In some ways I miss patient care and the satisfaction of caring for people on a daily basis. However, during this break I have been allowed to reflect upon these experiences and their meaning to me. While the challenges are apparent, it had reinforced my passion for oncology nursing.

You may be wondering how this relates to a travel blog about my time in Berlin? As I have explored Berlin, I have seen the dark history of Berlin and Germany. Berlin today is a relaxed and joyous place. However, mixed in with the biergartens, cafes, and cabarets, there are reminders of darker times. In the Mitte of the city lies the Holocaust Memorial. There is also the Jewish Museum reminding us of the last 2000 years of Jews living in Germany. There are also the many reminders of East Berlin and the existence of the Cold War here. Possibly most chilling is Sausenhausen concentration camp, just outside of Berlin, now a memorial and museum to the horrors that occurred. In the city, Jim pointed out at a U-Bahn station (the underground public transport) a sign remembering that at this station, Jews were sent to a variety of concentration camps throughout Germany and that this event was to never be forgotten. This U-Bahn stop was right outside KaDeWe, a giant, well-known department store where one could buy designer bags and basically anything else one wanted. My sister, Heather, visited in the past week and upon visiting some of the darker sites and noting that there were apartment buildings and homes just outside these memorials wondered what it would be like to live outside such locations. I immediately recalled my experiences in the hospital and how we learn to cope and reconcile the dark and light on a daily basis. It seems that Germany has learned this balance. They are able to rejoice in the freedom and happiness they currently hold and yet have made sure to never forget the darkness that is in their past.